Carlton Mellick Knihy

"Tick and Polly have never met their parents before. They live in the same house with them, they dream about them every night, they share the same flesh and blood, yet for some reason their parents have never found the time to visit them even once since they were born. Living in a dark corner of their parents' vast crumbling mansion, the children long for the day when they will finally be held in their mother's loving arms for the first time ... But that day seems to never come. They worry their parents have long since forgotten about them. When the machines that provide them with food and water stop functioning, the children are forced to venture out of the nursery to find their parents on their own. But the rest of the house is much larger and stranger than they ever could have imagined. The maze-like hallways are dark and seem to go on forever, deranged creatures lurk in every shadow, and the bodies of long-dead children litter the abandoned storerooms. Every minute out of the nursery is a constant battle for survival. And the deeper into the house they go, the more they must unravel the mysteries surrounding their past and the world they've grown up in, if they ever hope to meet the parents they've always longed to see."--Page 4 of cover

"Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes. Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it's more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona. Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot's size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He's so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona's tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival"--Cover, page 4

Exploring themes of marriage and parenting, this story takes a darkly humorous turn with the introduction of monstrous vaginas that consume people. The narrative delves into the complexities of relationships and the challenges of raising children, all while blending absurdity with poignant moments. The unique premise serves as a provocative backdrop for examining societal norms and personal struggles.

Nedávno skončila válka, kterou hračky rozpoutaly proti lidstvu. A hračky v ní zvítězily… Plyšáci, panenky, roboti, ale i malí plastoví vojáčci už měli plné zuby toho, že s nimi rozmazlené děti zacházely jako s pouhými věcmi. A i když nové „chytré“ generace hraček dokázaly myslet a cítit, neměly žádná práva, žádnou naději na smysluplný život. Nezbývalo jim než se vzbouřit a s lidskou rasou zatočit… Po konfliktu se poslední lidé stáhli do podzemních bunkrů. V jedné z těchto tajných enkláv přežívá i Julie, podstupující bolestivé operace a přerod v plyšovou pandu. Hračkám nemůže zapomenout, jak naložily s jejími rodiči. Pokud ví, dosud jsou zadržováni v jednom z vyhlazovacích táborů. Podaří se jí díky své transformaci dosáhnout vytčeného cíle a zachrání je? Vyzraje na všehoschopné hračky a jejich kruté plyšové velitele?

There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws. When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive. Cannibals of Candyland is an erotic horror story for the bizarro reader. Dark, disturbing, and absurd; this isn't the board game version of candy land you used to play as a kid.

Přišla si pro jeho duši, ale odešla s jeho srdcem. Román Carltona Mellicka III, autora s ohromující fantazií a nezaměnitelným stylem, je romantickou komedií, jaká tu ještě nebyla. Obyčejný mladík Jonathan vede bezstarostnou existenci v domě z lega. Přes den z kostiček staví nové modely, po večerech chodí do baru popíjet s kamarádem Šódžim, zápasníkem sumó, nad nímž pravidelně vítězí démon alkoholu. Život se Jonathanovi zvrtne ve chvíli, kdy se u něj doma objeví démonka Veška s úsměvem na rtech a překvapením pod srdcem. Jonathan se s ohromením dozvídá, že Veška s ním před devíti měsíci otěhotněla… ačkoliv on sám dosud žil v domnění, že se žádnou ženou nikdy nic neměl. Také si vždycky myslel, že stát se otcem a manželem bude peklo na zemi, ale opravdu neměl tušení, že takhle doslova…

Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q .Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror cliché and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written.If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.

It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

Set in a gritty urban landscape, this novel by Carlton Mellick III blends elements of bizarro fiction with urban fantasy, promising a unique reading experience. Known for his cult classics like Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, Mellick delivers a story filled with unconventional themes and vivid imagery that challenge traditional narrative forms. Expect an imaginative and surreal journey that pushes the boundaries of genre and storytelling.

"Set in the same woods as Mellick's splatterpunk satire Apeshit, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills. But things don't quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he's never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he's the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What's a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He'd much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself"--Page 4 of cover.