MR EMINENCE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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The United States' financial and socio-economic indicators suggest you are the latest figure tasked with addressing a significant issue, akin to replacing a valve on a flat tire that has been deflating since your ascension to the Oval Office. Rather than claiming you were "elected," it may be more accurate to say you positioned yourself in one of the world's most scrutinized roles. Do you aspire to dominate the global stage like Plankton sought to control Bikini Bottom? While you are not a fundamentalist, could you envision a question akin to one posed by Mike Wallace to Ayatollah Khomeini, addressing the disgrace some claim your actions bring upon the nation and its founding principles? Over the years, journalists like Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein have emphasized the importance of striving for truth. This discourse aims to highlight how your notion of "truth" parallels the medieval roots of magical thinking. Such a perspective might resonate with someone capable of deeper contemplation on global and American issues, which your limited mental and spiritual attributes seem to contradict.